In Which I Learned to Be Less Alone: Lessons From My Year as a ProInspire Fellow
By Elaine Choi, 2015 ProInspire Fellow at College Track
For most of my life, alone is how I’ve been. Although I have siblings, I was the youngest of three, and the age gap between my brothers and me was wide enough that we never shared the same life experiences at any given time. I pursued solo hobbies such as piano and cross-country. I went to a school located 30 minutes from my home, which forced me to split time between my high school friends and my childhood friends and left me feeling like I never quite belonged in either group.
Given my propensity for introversion, I have spent much of my life learning to cultivate and value my independence. It’s not that I don’t like people — I just wondered if I really needed them in my life. I never expected my year as a ProInspire Fellow at College Track to teach me otherwise.
In which I learned the value in a good manager…
I am a dreamer. Impulsive. Optimistic bordering on unrealistic. Impatient. My manager, on the other hand, is steadfast, a planner, deeply analytical, and cautious. At first I found this to be suffocating and overbearing; I felt micromanaged and wondered whether I was a good fit for the organization. But it only took sharing our DiSC assessments to understand and learn from each other. Her actions did not come from a place of mistrust, nor did mine come from a place of recklessness. I have learned to clearly communicate my vision and the reasoning behind it, and to incorporate the vision of others and not just my own. She has challenged me to defend my choices with conviction. She has instilled in me the confidence to execute by pushing me to consider all potential setbacks. She has helped me recognize that yes, some things are impossible and beyond my control.
In which I learned the value of teamwork…
My introduction to College Track was daunting: ”Elaine will be responsible for solving all of the organization’s IT challenges that have accumulated over the past 18 years! (Kidding! Kind of.)” I spent my first few days at College Track staring blankly at coworkers who stopped by my desk to ask if I was hired as their IT savior. If my fellowship year has taught me anything, it is that I cannot singlehandedly solve the problems I face. With nine sites across the country, several program areas, and a full-time staff of over 100 people, success at College Track hinges on a core set of fundamentals for group collaboration. Last year, our CEO reached out to the entire organization to help shape the vision for 2020. In the same way, this year I am excited to form an IT governance committee to drive us towards defining and executing a collective vision for technology at College Track, incorporating a wide variety of perspectives and organizational needs. The group as a collection of individuals, and not each individual alone, is where we will succeed. My cohort of ProInspire Fellows was another place where teamwork surfaced as an important driver of success and satisfaction; we celebrated our successes and leaned on each other to collectively problem solve the challenges that we experienced in our transition to the social sector.
In which I learned the value of culture…
My family wasn’t big on holiday celebrations. Too lazy to bake cookies, my mother would leave fruit out for Santa, explaining that it was better for his health. As such, I’ve grown to dread theme parties and costumes. So naturally when I heard about Canadian Tuxedo day at the office, my body had a visceral reaction in response to the thought of having to dress up in a group activity. As I woke the next day, feeling sick from the idea of having to wear denim on denim, I saw the photos start to roll in as part of our #ctjoy campaign. I felt a hint of FOMO and wondered why I wasn’t opting in, especially when my denim collection is quite strong. Culture is at the core of College Track, and it’s the people who make it so strong. I now embrace the weird, goofy culture that has become an essential part of my day.
A good friend of mine once asked if I considered home a function of people or place. While LA will always have my heart, in the Bay Area the people are my home. I’m now more intentional with the people I care about, and for the first time in my life I feel content, satisfied, and fulfilled. I’m lucky to have friends who know that when I say I want to be left alone, they instead should bulldoze into my apartment with wine and snacks, something I only come to appreciate after the fact. I draw strength from my cohort of ProInspire Fellows, a group of individuals who have been with me through one of the biggest transitions of my life. While I will continue to face challenges both in work and life, I now know that I don’t have to face them alone – a lesson I’m grateful to have learned through my year as a ProInspire Fellow.
Elaine Choi is a ProInspire Fellow at College Track, an Oakland-based education organization that empowers students from underserved communities to graduate from college. At College Track, Elaine is the Director of IT and Strategic Initiatives. Prior to joining College Track, Elaine worked in healthcare IT as a project manager and implementation consultant at Epic in Verona, WI. She also brings a Design Thinking lens to her work after a summer with Anne Gibbon, Stanford d.School fellow and Founder of Matri Design. Outside of work you can find her hosting dinner for friends, playing intramural soccer, or hiking outdoors. Elaine is a Pomona College Graduate with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Public Policy.